


Metanoia

by Ariejul



Series: Alone in the Fallout [11]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Adult Content, Adult Language, Deacon is being his same ole self, Duncan is a cute kid, F/M, Family Feels, Feels, Female Sole Survivor is surrounded by little boys, Friendship/Love, MacCready doesn't like it, Sexy Times, Shaun makes a friend, Spoilers, Unrequited Love, a smidge of angst, hot and heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 13:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11314479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariejul/pseuds/Ariejul
Summary: Metanoia: the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.Julia and Deacon meet Duncan MacCready, and his father learns about their budding relationship.Post-game.Takes place after Commuovere.





	Metanoia

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, apparently I tend to write one-shots in bursts. Good for me, I guess. Anyway, we have another kid appear. This time Duncan. I always pictured MacCready being a little on the shy side, especially when it involves someone he loves, and I like to think Duncan inherited that shyness. I find MacCready ridiculously hard to write, and I have no idea why.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Please give kudos/comment if you like it.
> 
> No beta.
> 
> Also, there's more sex here. I didn't plan it. It just... happened. I blame Deacon.
> 
> Edit: I ended up tweaking Shaun's age just a little here. He was "ten" in game, and this is over a year after, so...he would have had a birthday. Oops.

Shaun excitedly chatters as he leads them toward the house where Bobby is staying with Duncan. It’s one of the smaller houses in the settlement, but newer than her own. It’s the perfect size for her friend and his son. She hopes they’ll consider staying here permanently. She certainly wouldn't mind them being close by, and Shaun obviously enjoys Duncan's company.

Deacon leans over toward her, his lips brushing against her ear. “The way the kiddo’s talking, you’d think MacCready's kid was like the best thing since sliced bread.” He pauses, face scrunching up comically in thought. “Never really understood that phrase.”

She shivers at the absent contact, shoving him playfully away. “Behave, or I’ll have to send you to your room.”

“Oh no, please. _Any_ thing but that.” He feigns an overly dramatic pose, drawing the attention of more than a few of the settlers preparing for the day.

Julia sighs, a look of long suffering on her face as she watches him. “How old are you again? Two?”

Deacon sticks his tongue out at her, just in time for Shaun to see.

“Grow up, Deacon,” he says, giving Deacon his best disappointed face. It’s decidedly more cute than anything, but it's the thought that counts, she guesses. Julia has to stifle a laugh behind her hand.

Deacon looks over, flabbergasted. “Did I just get reprimanded by an eleven year old?”

“Yes, yes, you did.” Julia can’t keep the laugh at bay anymore and tosses her head back, cackling with glee.

“Glad _someone’s_ so happy this early,” a voice she hasn’t heard in ages says, dripping sarcasm.

“Bobby!” she calls, snapping her gaze toward the voice. Her friend is standing on the front lawn of his home, watching them with an eyebrow raised in slight confusion. Right, she’d forgotten that he has no idea what’s been going on. Preston wouldn’t have told him. She should probably talk to him about it. Eventually.

“Hey, Julia. Long time, no see.” He grins, patting her shoulder joyfully. He cuts a glance at Deacon. “Hey, man.”

Deacon tosses a two finger wave before stuffing his hands into his pockets. He bumps his elbow against Julia’s arm.

Shaun smiles up at Bobby, giving him a quick hug. “RJ! Is Duncan up, yet?”

Bobby laughs, ruffling Shaun’s hair affectionately, and it melts Julia’s heart. He really is great with Shaun. It’d honestly surprised her at first. The notion of Synths always made him nervous, but he never held that against Shaun. “Yeah. He’ll be out in a minute.”

His grin somehow manages to get even bigger, and he turns back to her. “You’ll love him, Mom. You, too, Deacon.”

“I’m sure I will, sweetie,” she says as Deacon nods. Julia glances up at him, wondering over the sudden silence. Seems he still feels uncomfortable with Bobby. There definitely isn’t any love lost between the pair. It’s a shame, really. They have more in common than either seems to realize and would probably be pretty good friends. She sighs at the stubbornness of men.

Duncan wanders out a few minutes later, and Julia has to keep herself from cooing at the sight. He’s absolutely _adorable_. A small boy, likely due to his illness and the fact his father is little more than a wisp of a man himself, with bright brown eyes and pale hair. Even with the differences between them, he looks like Bobby made over. He hides behind his dad, glancing hesitantly at the both of them with wary eyes. He decides that Shaun is the safest place to look and smiles at him.

“Hi, Shaun.” His voice is small and quiet, and Julia is beside herself at just how cute he is.

Shaun smiles brightly, waving. “See, I told you I’d bring my mom and Deacon to meet you when they got home!”

Julia drops down to her knees and smiles at him. “Hi, Duncan. I’m Julia, Shaun’s mom. He’s told me a lot about you. I hope we can be friends.”

That seems to melt his shyness a bit. He grins and waves at her. “It’s nice to meet you.” His ears go pink as he hides his face in Bobby’s coat. “You’re _really_ pretty.”

Julia blushes at that, and Deacon snorts. She backhands his shin. “That’s really sweet of you, Duncan. You’re really cute, too, just like your dad.”

Bobby turns violently red at that, yanking his hat down over his face. Deacon shakes with barely suppressed laughter, his hand landing hard on her shoulder and nearly knocking her over. Julia absently thinks maybe she shouldn’t have let him come. He’s acting like a gigantic child.

She points at Deacon. “This big goofball is Deacon. He’s a good friend of mine,” she cuts her eyes toward him, “though at times like this, I wonder why.”

For his part, Deacon does try to recover. He grins at the boy. “Hey there, pal.”

Duncan waves at him timidly, eyeing his sunglasses with interest before turning his gaze up to his dad. “Dad, can I go play with Shaun now?”

Bobby nods, and both boys dart off down the road toward the playground in the middle of town. Julia watches after the pair, a contented smile pulling at her lips. It’s good that Shaun has a friend close to his own age. Sanctuary sadly doesn’t have many children, and most are very young, barely even toddlers. Too young to play with an eleven year old.

“You guys wanna come in? Got some Nuka Cola,” Bobby says, shifting awkwardly on his feet. He’s studying Deacon in a way that makes it clear he hopes the man will leave.

“Darn tootin,’” Deacon says, clearly just to agitate the younger man, much to Julia’s frustration. “Been craving some of that bubbly, sugary goodness. How’d you know?”

Julia groans, closing her eyes. That man. “Sorry, Bobby. I’ll try to keep him in line.”

Deacon leans out of the door, already acting like he owns the place. “Jules, you coming or what?”

Bobby’s head snaps up at the name, though Deacon’s already disappeared inside. He grabs Julia’s arm before she can follow. “Since when does he call you Jules?”

She sighs. “It’s a long story, Bobby. Can we save it for later?”

After a pregnant pause, he nods, and they walk inside.

Sitting in the living room, the silences between them are long, and Bobby keeps glaring at Deacon. It’s frankly making Julia uncomfortable. She shifts in her seat, trying to think of a way to help the pair get along. Nothing’s coming to mind.

Completely ignoring Bobby’s ire, Deacon sets his now empty bottle down on the table. “Well, kids, I gotta jet. Forgot Sturges was needing my help today,” he says, suddenly standing. “Good to see you again, MacCready. Glad you made it back safe with the kid.”

Not waiting for a reply, he walks past Julia, fingertips brushing briefly along the line of her arm. It sends a tremor of warmth down her spine.

“Later, Deacon,” Bobby murmurs after him, a hard look in his eyes. He keeps playing with his bottle of Nuka, staring at it like it might hold some sort of answer. She can’t fathom what. His eyes keep finding their way back to her, but it takes him some time before he speaks again. “So, you and Deacon, huh?”

Julia jumps in her seat, nearly upsetting the bottle in her hands. “What are you talking about, Bobby?”

He scoffs, clunking his bottle noisily on the side table. “Don’t try to bullshit me, Julia. I’m not blind. He’s been touching you all morning. We both know Deacon doesn’t touch anyone.”

She rubs her face with a hand, wearily. It’s not like she’s trying to hide it. It’s just… she remembers Deacon’s suggestion on his holotape. _Grab MacCready by the collar and kiss the daylights out of him. He’s wanted you for ages._ She sighs, pushing the thought away. “It’s… a new thing.”

"Apparently." Bobby grunts, lacing his fingers together as he leans forward, elbows on knees. “You know that man is nothing but a liar, right?”

“I think I know him a little better than you do,” she snaps testily without meaning to. With a sigh, she continues. "Look, Bobby. I know. I’ve been traveling with Deacon for a long time, but I’m not looking for your approval. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”

He sighs, clearly agitated. “I _know_ that. But…” he hesitates, fingertips dancing together nervously, “I just… why him? Of all people?”

Julia considers it. Honestly, she really doesn’t know. She could probably have her choice of men. She definitely gets a fair few looks whenever she's out and about. Hell, Hancock hits on her constantly, and with the way Bobby’s looking at her right now, it wouldn’t take more than a word from her for him to jump in with both feet. It really is too early for shit like this.

“I don’t have an answer for you, Bobby. I just… when I think about him not being around, it frightens me. I can’t breathe. When I’m with him, it feels like home.”

He’s quiet, and when he does speak, his words are weighted and thick. “Yeah, I… definitely get that. Sorry, Julia. You know I worry about you.” He huffs a laugh. “I still remember the bumbling girl that wandered into the Third Rail fresh from the Vault who barely knew the butt of a gun from the barrel. I felt like a glorified babysitter for _ages_.”

“Hey! I wasn’t _that_ bad,” she murmurs, cheeks blooming with color.

He isn’t actually too far off. With a pistol, she’d been passable, but with a rifle, she’d been a terrible shot. Once he’d had enough of covering her ass and avoiding shots gone astray, he taught her how to shoot properly. Even so, it took a very long time before Bobby stood anywhere even remotely ahead of her. The first and only time he made that mistake, Julia shot a hole in his hat. She’d nearly had a panic attack, thinking she’d killed him. It took him ages to stop bringing that particular event up.

She’d honestly been surprised that he hadn’t left her right then and there.

All mirth dies from his face. “I just hope you’re happy, Julia. If anyone deserves it in this hellhole, it’s you.”

She leans over and takes his hand, smiling when he looks up. “I am, Bobby, and thank you… for looking out for me. Then and now. I really do appreciate it.”

He hesitates, mouth gaping open slightly before squeezing her hand. “I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that,” he says, voice taking on that sweet cadence he so rarely uses. She could listen to it all day.

Julia’s heart aches as she studies him. It seems that Deacon wasn’t lying. How could she have not noticed? “I do. I’m lucky to have you as my friend, Bobby.”

He drops her hand, a flicker of sorrow washing across his face as he looks away. “Yeah. I’ll always be your friend, Julia. No matter what.”

 

Deacon’s leaning by her door when she walks up. His expression is unreadable, a bit of a rarity these days. “How’d the heart-to-heart go?”

Julia opens the door, knowing he’ll follow after her. “Worried?”

He snorts, kicking off his shoes and leaning back on the couch. “If I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t have left you there alone with him.”

She sits down beside him, getting rid of her own boots and wiggling her toes. “Right. What _was_ I thinking?”

The next thing Julia knows, she’s flat of her back on the couch with Deacon hovering over her. There’s a carnal urgency to the press of his lips against hers. His hand runs down her side, resting in the dip of her waist, and she feels a rush of heat shooting through her. She’s gasping when he pulls away, and damn those stupid sunglasses. She reaches up and rips them off, tossing them on the coffee table.

Deacon doesn’t protest, leaning into her and hungrily claiming her lips again. He nips her lower lip, exploring her mouth with his tongue. His hand wanders up under her shirt, ghosting over the old injury on her ribs, and she hisses when his calloused fingers brush against nipple. She can feel his growing want pressed against her thigh, even through his jeans, and a spike of electricity jolts through her core.

“D-Deacon, what’s…” she gasps, trying to keep her thoughts coherent through his onslaught. “What’s… gotten into you?”

He kisses down the line of her jaw, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He’s panting, hand wandering from her chest up to her face. He’s trembling, she realizes with a start. He says nothing.

“Deacon?” she whispers, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back. That seems to make the trembling worse. “Love, what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, pressing chaste kisses against the side of her neck. “He can’t… you’re _mine_.”

 _His_.

The word worms into her, settling somewhere deep and achingly sweet. His hair tickles her cheek as she cradles him against her. She presses a kiss just behind his ear and nods. “I am, for as long as you’ll have me.”

His grip on her tightens, and he growls into her skin, biting her neck. She groans at the shock, digging her nails into his back. This aggression startles her; it isn’t like Deacon at all. He finds her mouth again, hungry. That beautiful naked gaze is so vulnerable, so incredibly broken she can barely stand it when he pulls back.

She grabs his face gently in her hands, pressing a kiss to his forehead, his closed eyes, his cheeks, and finally his lips. Her finger traces the line of his jaw, holding that heartsick gaze with her own. “I love you. I love you so much,” she whispers, kissing him again.

He shivers with each word, his hands griping the cushion beneath her. “Jules,” he manages, pressing his forehead against hers and closing his eyes, “I want… you. I want you so much it fucking scares me.”

She brushes her fingers through his ginger hair, smiling. “I know. I’m scared, too, but it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

A tear slips down his cheek. Julia brushes it away tenderly. “Y'know, you can have me,” she whispers into his ear, “I want you, too.”

The words seem to bring Deacon back to life, his hands wandering over every inch of her body, coaxing from her garbled gasps and moans as he goes. He urgently strips her pants, dropping his own just enough to take her. It’s desperate and wanton and rough and leaves Julia reeling from the feel of it. He falls against her chest after, both thoroughly sated, and Julia’s pretty sure this is as close to Heaven on Earth anyone can ever get.


End file.
